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Monthly Archives: February 2013

When I first started doing these posts it seemed to be with a sense of urgency to get them done as soon as I got back from the doctor or hospital.  I had another MRI of the knee done January 18th and I still havent put an update on the site.  All went well with that one too.  “You’re in good shape for now” and the spot where the cells were found  is “clean as a whistle” as he tells me.  I’m not sure what to make of the doctor’s body language or his attitude towards me when he comes in to see me.  Usually you can tell what he’s thinking or what to expect the first thing when he walks through the door by the expression on his face.  He comes in with a smile on his face the last 2 times.  I didnt even want to ask him what  state he considered I was.  All I know is he doesnt have that somber, dismal look on his face like there is bad news to go over with me.  It’s the kind of thing I realized after I walked out of there and all I think about is the day he told me I am going to die from this.   Feels like a long time since that conversation.  It will never leave my head.  I did catch his little disclaimer of “for now” after the comment of you’re in good shape.  Maybe I still do have a case of only wanting to hear good news now and didnt want to get into that discussion with him this past visit so I’ll think about more direct questions like what he thinks of my prognosis is on the next visit in March.  

I am starting to get back into a bit of a normal routine.  Walking a couple miles a day.  Trying to do some stretching and yoga type stuff to get back into shape a little bit. That all took a lot longer than I expected it too.  I guess that chemo sticks around until it feels like not effecting you any longer.  You cant just be done with it and start feeling better in just a few weeks. I may even attempt a return to Wednesday night basketball soon.  The knee and foot hurt a lot but I need to get out and see what happens.  You know what?  It is better to look good than to feel good my friend!   

I must have really looked like hell during the chemo treatments because everyone keeps telling me how great I look now!  So, Thanks for that..I feel like I have certainly come a long way and its been a rough year for sure.  Soon we’ll all be sitting around the campfire telling stories about it all and it will be a distant memory.  Its strange too…I try not to talk about the whole situation with any sort of bias towards being overly optimistic or negative.  I know anything is possible these days and not too much would surprise me.  Never in my life would I ever think I would find the true meaning or feeling of this: