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Its a big building with patients in it…but that’s not important right now. That’s about all it is. It’s certainly not a big building full of people ready to care for you and do whatever is necessary to make you feel any better. It all started last Saturday. My knee started feeling a little bit …
Its been a while between posts again…I don’t even know where to begin to tell you how terrible going through this crap has been at times…I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. No wait, I take that back. This is EXACTLY what I would wish on a worst enemy. Its miserable. At times all I can do is sleep. Other times, kind of like today, I am stir crazy and cant sit still yet I don’t feel like doing anything productive. I get up to do something then 10 minutes later I feel like I have to lie down to rest. After about 10 minutes of that I get restless and I have to get up to do something. That process has been repeating itself since about 9 AM today…I wish I would just sleep all day like I did yesterday..
Besides all that fun the chemo effects the way everything tastes..so while my appetite hasn’t really been effected much when I do eat nothing tastes like it should. I get urges for stuff like a cheeseburger or a sausage pizza. Then when I eat it I’m so disappointed I cant even taste it. That goes away right about the time I go back for the next treatment. So usually the day or so before the next treatment I eat like a pig because I can finally taste things! A lot of people have asked if I lost weight. I don’t know if I am lucky or what but I think I have actually gained some. The other positive has been my blood work. Each week the blood counts have been very good. White cells, platelets etc have all been perfect. Like I haven’t been getting anything the doctor tells me. He says that means my immune system is holding up well..
On the bright side, if there is one, there are only 2 more treatments left! Its a good feeling knowing these are the last 2. On the other hand, its sort of depressing knowing I have to go through this one more time..right when I start feeling better next week I start the process all over again…I kind of feel like this:
Every week I go there its the same mixed feelings of this is gonna suck but HIT ME so I can get it over with and hopefully this is working!
Meanwhile, the theme song of the week is surely this:
If I can borrow a few lines,
“Everybody gets high, everybody gets low
These are the days when anything goes
Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine”
I have certainly had the ups and downs over the last few weeks…right after the last post when I said I hadn’t lost my hair naturally it all fell out. Nothing but peach fuzz left. That was a little depressing. I felt like I wanted to crawl in a hole for the next month until this was all over and it grew back but after it sunk in it was really happening I realized that was the least of my worries. For some reason I notice more and more stories like this:
Study Shows Baldness Can Be a Business Advantage
So I have that going for me….
To borrow from an old cliche, soon we’ll look back and laugh at all this…boy I sure hope so!
After the last treatment I go for an MRI of the knee the following week to see how things look. Cross your fingers nothing shows up on that one..I’ll have to get CAT Scans of the chest, abdomen and pelvis too. Then I wait…scans every few months for the next 5 years and hope for the best. Simple, right?