And so I cry somethimes when I’m lying in bed
Just to get it all out what’s in my head
And I’m, I am feeling a little peculiar
So I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What’s goin’ on!!
Been thinking about how to write this update for a few days now. Its not going to be easy or fun to write but I feel like I need to get everyone up to speed. Nothing cute or funny about this one. I’m just going to lay out the facts as I know them at this moment. I saw Dr. Healy, the surgeon last Wednesday. He was very blunt in trying to explain the situation. It comes down to this: The “Positive Margins” that came back from the pathology report after surgery compute to a 60/40 chance that the cancer cells have spread to the rest of my body already. The most likely place they would go are the lungs. The way he explained it to me, he removed a 4.8 centimeter tumor, according to the pathology report. If that were the case then the statistics are 40/60 it has already spread because its under 5 centimeters. So I can lean on that as a positive thing. However, Dr. Healy says he removed 6.8 centimeters, including swelling around the area which he believed should be included in the the size of the tumor. Who do you believe? Does it matter?
So, where does that leave me? I can do chemotherapy which only helps about 4% of people with this type of sarcoma. I can do nothing and just monitor it if it spreads to the lungs. In that case the stats are 20% survival rate if it can be operated on. Either way nothing can be done until the wound from the surgery is healed. I follow up with the plastic surgeon this Wednesday to make sure that is going according to plan. There is one spot that is not healing as fast as the other so I need to make sure that is ok. I also get Cat Scans of my abdomen and pelvis to make sure its not there yet too. Yes, this all pretty much sucks. The biggest frustration is there is no way to tell what is going on. Am I in the 40% that it hasnt spread to? Will it? How long til it does? I will have to go for scans every 3 months regardless. I also will most likely do the chemo as soon as the surgery site has healed enough. That oughta be fun! I have to take the chance that I am in the 4% it will help. For you poker players out there, that’s hitting a 2 outer on the river to win the hand! As I said to the doctor, you gotta be in it to win it so thats the plan. The other option is getting a second opinion. MD Anderson in Houston is listed as THE top place in the country for Sarcomas. I’ve never been to Texas. Probably a nice place to be in the Middle of July!
I hope I covered everything. There are probably 1,000 things that have crossed my mind since last Wednesday so I am sure to forget something. Feel free to call or email if you want to ask me anything, except “how are you doing”….I don’t know why I don’t like that question. Sorry, its just the truth. Thanks for all the nice comments about liking the blog and asking when I am going to update it again. Here it Is.